Having LOTS of doubts...109 Days to go

So I finally got to my run and did about 3.6 miles. It took me 36:05. It was a hilly route. About 4 minutes into the run my heart started really feeling painful, but I committed to myself that I will run the first mile without stopping and I did push on--it was pretty excruciating to keep that up. I can't move my left arm when my heart area begins to hurt, so I place my hand right under my shoulder. So I did push through and did a good first mile pace of about 9 minutes. I kept pushing and did not walk because of the heart pain and eventually the pain went away about 15 minutes into the run.

But I am beginning to have LOTS of doubts about me keeping this up. First of all, I almost did not make it to this run tonight, simply because I have a lot more important things to complete. For instance, I am REALLY stressing out right now because I thought I was ready to graduate this fall from my Masters program, but now they are not accepting a transfer course that they had approved prior. THUS, I need to not only complete my Thesis this fall, but I also need to complete this silly course. HOWEVER, if I can't find this course to take somewhere, then I cannot enroll in the thesis class because it MUST be the final course you take. THEREFORE, this could push my graduation back a whole 'nother year!!

If I can find a this extra course to take though, then I will have a course to take and I will need to complete my thesis--ALL THIS FALL!!

On top of all that, I have my first responsibility with my school and creating a quality curriculum for my students, quality daily lesson plans, grading assignments, etc. etc. etc. etc...This is a huge stressor that I put A LOT of pressure on myself with.

Beyond that, I am always trying to prepare for the baseball season and help get my baseball boys head's straight.

Then there are always other responsibilities around the house, with family, and then the random day when the car breaks down and that ruins a couple days.

So the first thing to come off this list would be the marathon training. School and these course will take up TONS of time!! I don't know, so we'll just see.

I did have a very surreal moment tonight while running though...In the "mist" of all my doubting toward the end of my run, I came upon a sidewalk section of about a quarter of a mile, where there were sprinklers about every 20 feet. I was running at about 9:30pm. So it was kind of a quaint setting. As I'm running through these sprinklers they are splashing me and I can't really see where I am heading because of the mist everywhere, so I just kept going on with trust that God would keep me safe. And as I ran through this, I thought of it as a great metaphor for what I'm going through right now...While there is lots of stuff (mist) going on right now and I can't quite see where I am at, what's under my feet, if I'll get to the end, I need to just keep going further and trust that Christ will see me through it all...

So with that I was given some peace of mind that maybe all will be okay, and I'll wake up in January with completing a successful first semester, a Master's Degree, prepared for the baseball season, and a completed marathon under 4 hours!! We'll see!!